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[BLOG] Secret Diary of a Single Dad?
May. 17th, 2011 12:11 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
nickthewarbler.livejournal.comI wasn't lying when I said I was boring, but considering I just heard that a good friend is sick in hospital with possible Swine Flu, I figured I should actually make an attempt to say something here on a regular basis so people really don't think I'm dead. In saying that, I'm getting very little sleep right with my brain not wanting to switch off and the fruits of my loins hitting the Terrible Twos. He's also been sick with a freaky childhood superbug going around that apparently every kid in daycare has. It's not pretty. Neither is projectile baby vomit.
Don't say I didn't warn you that my posts were boring, and considering I have a child, possibly TMI on occasions. You should see what I've been finding in his diapers.
Anyway. I'm not further to thinking clearer about the predicament in my last post. To be honest, I just feel tired. I'm not even thirty, but I feel like life has skipped by me. I know I gave up a lot of dreams when fatherhood pleasantly - yet unexpectedly - graced my life. Being a dad is the best thing I've ever done, and nothing will match that. But it's also probably one of the hardest things people could face. It's not easy, and doing it alone is tough. I've had my fair share of times just sitting in the corner listening to him sob his heart out when I don't know how to stop him crying. I've had times where I feel like he's missing vital elements without his mom. Though, his mom is really not a subject I am going to get into on here. At all. So don't even ask. Rory wasn't a mistake and he was created with love, but apparently just more on my behalf than on hers, and that's all I'm going to say.
But really, what is love, and is there argument that you really only get one bite at the apple? Do we really only have One True Love, and if we let it pass us by, it never finds us again? Or even more importantly, if you do find that love again... will it ever the same as what it was? Is it best to just hold onto the memories and be thankful you loved and lost, or do you keep yearning for the tables to turn again where you can get up in the morning and just smile because you have that one person who never fails to make you feel complete?
Don't say I didn't warn you that my posts were boring, and considering I have a child, possibly TMI on occasions. You should see what I've been finding in his diapers.
Anyway. I'm not further to thinking clearer about the predicament in my last post. To be honest, I just feel tired. I'm not even thirty, but I feel like life has skipped by me. I know I gave up a lot of dreams when fatherhood pleasantly - yet unexpectedly - graced my life. Being a dad is the best thing I've ever done, and nothing will match that. But it's also probably one of the hardest things people could face. It's not easy, and doing it alone is tough. I've had my fair share of times just sitting in the corner listening to him sob his heart out when I don't know how to stop him crying. I've had times where I feel like he's missing vital elements without his mom. Though, his mom is really not a subject I am going to get into on here. At all. So don't even ask. Rory wasn't a mistake and he was created with love, but apparently just more on my behalf than on hers, and that's all I'm going to say.
But really, what is love, and is there argument that you really only get one bite at the apple? Do we really only have One True Love, and if we let it pass us by, it never finds us again? Or even more importantly, if you do find that love again... will it ever the same as what it was? Is it best to just hold onto the memories and be thankful you loved and lost, or do you keep yearning for the tables to turn again where you can get up in the morning and just smile because you have that one person who never fails to make you feel complete?
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